Friday, November 1, 2013

An Army Unashamed Pt. 1


As much as I love writing, I don't write just to write here. I save that for my journals where I can express every single thought and emotion as it comes to me without concern to validity and accuracy. When I sit down at my computer and open a new post document, it is because I feel I have something to communicate that is worth being heard.

The last few years I have been learning so much about humility and giftedness and personal identity and I have come to realize that true humility makes no apologies for the gifts/talents/abilities one has. I don't have to play them down to be humble. In fact, if I were to minimize these things, that would not be true humility at all but rather false humility that is actually an insidious form of pride.



I know that God has gifted me in the area of writing and communicating and I have taken that and worked hard at it and developed my skills more and more over the years.

 I know that I have something to say. I know that my voice and my opinions and thoughts matter and that it must somehow be worthwhile for me to get it all out there in a very public forum.

But yet I wonder if it actually makes any difference at all. Because that is essentially why I am doing this.

I want to make a difference in the world. I want to help people see things from a new perspective and I want to inspire them to expand the way they see things and look more closely at the One who created us all and calls us to a life of purpose and life of change.

I want to effect change. Desperately so. I want to see change happen in our world, in our country, in our cities. But more importantly I want to see change happen in the lives of individuals that will in turn enact change in the Church.   The big C, all of us who profess Jesus as Lord, Church.

My heart is to see the Church in the United States become a movement and force just as the first Church was in Acts. I am so sick of watching the Church hunker down in fox holes known as "centers of worship" and wait out some perceived new attack of the enemy and attack of culture.

I want to see the Church move out of the fox holes and into the mine fields where thousands upon thousands of people desperately need someone to tell them that they are worth something and they no longer need to live in squalor and despair. I want to see the Church become known for extravagant love and grace. I want to see followers of Christ known as people who are doing good in their communities and world at large rather than as people known for bigotry, hatred, and intolerance.

But all I can do right now is write. Yes, there are times when I am invited to speak to the young adults group at my church and in a few weeks I will speaking to the middle school and high school students at my church and that does give me a platform to communicate what is on my heart, but I feel this is not enough. I am simply putting words on a screen and speaking to people who know me and who I am comfortable with and let me tell you, this seems so pathetic at times.

I don't know what I can DO to enact real, tangible change. Maybe I am and I just don't know it but sometimes I feel as thought I am a cop-out. I take the easy way because it is quite easy to talk, and much more difficult to do.

Don't get me wrong, I try to DO as much as I possibly can. I try love with abandon and extend grace with ease. I, however am only one person. I cannot do this alone. It is not possible for me to see the change I am striving for happen on my own.

I need others who are willing to catch the vision and step out in ways that are uncomfortable and foreign and may very well make us enemies (in their eyes) of many "church people".

So where are these people? Why do I feel as if I am fighting this battle alone here in Montana? Yes, there are some of my friends who get this and they are doing the best they can in the sphere of influence they've placed themselves in and I do not diminish that in way but I am looking for the people who are called and willing to give up everything for sake of the Good News. We need people who are willing to stay in the spheres they are in. We need people like my good friend Deborah who is diligently teaching first graders at a local public school and doing everything within her power to help them realize that they are worth more than what they've been told.

But we also need people who are willing to give up their careers, homes, possessions, lifestyles, health and even their life if required for the sake of this Gospel of Love and Hope.

I am looking for people willing to do "crazy", "irresponsible" things for the sake of the cause, for the sake of the movement. Things such as selling everything we own to care for one another and to feed the hungry. Things such as leave behind our homes and "responsible" jobs for a period of time to travel the country and become more aware of the real issues affecting our nation and the Body of Christ as a whole and what we can do to make a difference in the world at large.

I know they are out there. I just hope we meet in the middle soon because I am becoming weary. I am longing to find those with whom I can share my passions and desires completely and whom I can trust with my very life. Those who will fight alongside me and prop me up when I am weak.

Until then, I will continue to stand as Paul told the Ephesians to do. "13 because of this take ye up the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to resist in the day of the evil, and all things having done -- to stand."

If you are finding yourself in a similar place, don't lose hope. Stand firm with me and trust that God is raising up an army unashamed. 

1 comment:

  1. Melissa, so many times over the years I have longed to make a difference, do something that really changes the way Christians understand living as Christ. The task seems overwhelming. I think that really is because only God's Spirit moving on individuals can make it happen.

    I have carried the Holy Spirit to the streets and to Native Americans and Venezualens and Indians. I have seen much happen, but not because I could do it. He CAN do it. Left to my own plans and projects I did some good; He blessed it. It was really by daily obedience, stepping out and doing the little things that I began to see an impact beyond my scope of influence.

    These days He is taking me in a new direction, a kind of ministry I've not done before, and I find myself wondering if it will ever really make a difference. My circle of influence is small after years of physical illness that have kept me home and often in bed. As I obey He is healing me. I long to return to the works He gave me in the past - I had so much fun and adventure and saw Him do so much.

    But He reminds me "start small". And as I look back I can see that those things that had impact on others, that changed people's hearts and lives and relationship with God, were all things that started small, very small. And the things He may ask you to do may not appear to you to be of much value or consequence.

    Prayer behind everything you do and everything that is on your heart to see happen is the greatest thing you can do. Other than that be excited about what God can do with small beginnings. Just be faithful, obedient and stand. He is your strength when you are tired. ~Sherry

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