Rescue is Coming

If there is one thing that growing up in the church taught me, it's how to pretend that everything is okay. I've gotten so good at it that I can even deceive myself into thinking that I'm fine. I honestly don't intentionally lie to people about how I'm doing, it's just second nature to say that everything is fine with a smile on my face. o

Over the past few years I've gotten better about this with the little things but I'm coming to see that is still a problem for me with the big things. I think a part of it is that I get so overwhelmed by whatever it is that I'm going through that I just push it down deep and refuse to think about it. And it works... for a while. But then it comes creeping out around the edges until I break.

The Last Year and Where I am Now

I staffed the lecture phase of the DTS and what a summer it was!  I won't go into much detail because I've already written about it in a previous post. Towards the end of the school I found myself facing another decision. I had been asked to come on staff with the local church I had been attending and help with the coffee shop they were opening downtown and also work as the pastor's assistant. After much prayer and many conversations and prayer times with my YWAM leader, I decided that God was leading me in that direction. And so at the end of the lecture phase I ended my time on staff with YWAM Madison and joined the church staff. 

Working with the church was hands down one of the most challenging work experiences I have ever faced. I won't go into too much detail but two months in I found myself asking God why on earth he had called me to work with them. Nothing was going the way I thought it would or how we had discussed when I first agreed to do work for them. I made up my mind to stick it out with the hope things would get better. 

A Bit of a Recap

Once again it has been a while since I've sat down to write and, once again, it is mostly because there is so much going on inside of me that I have no idea where to start.  Even now and I am staring at these few lines and the cursor on the page wondering how I am going to distill and condense all these thoughts into something understandable and cohesive.

This past year has been a whirlwind of crazy! As usual, I found myself moving multiple times on very short notice but always going where I was sure God was leading me. January of 2011 found me packing up and moving to Kona Hawaii to attend the first ever Church Pioneering School with Youth With a Mission. Those three months were some of the most rewarding, challenging, informative months of my life! When the lecture phase of the school wrapped up, I found myself not going on outreach and not having a clue as to what my  next step would be. At the prompting of some of my friends and leaders I applied to join the cafe staff there. I did not understand why God was leading me to do this because not only did I have no desire to remain in Hawaii for a second longer, I also did not see much value in staying to work in a coffee shop whose customers were all believers and YWAMers. Thankfully God knows more than what we do!