Wednesday, August 8, 2012

A Bit of a Recap

Once again it has been a while since I've sat down to write and, once again, it is mostly because there is so much going on inside of me that I have no idea where to start.  Even now and I am staring at these few lines and the cursor on the page wondering how I am going to distill and condense all these thoughts into something understandable and cohesive.
This past year has been a whirlwind of crazy! As usual, I found myself moving multiple times on very short notice but always going where I was sure God was leading me. January of 2011 found me packing up and moving to Kona Hawaii to attend the first ever Church Pioneering School with Youth With a Mission. Those three months were some of the most rewarding, challenging, informative months of my life! When the lecture phase of the school wrapped up, I found myself not going on outreach and not having a clue as to what my  next step would be. At the prompting of some of my friends and leaders I applied to join the cafe staff there. I did not understand why God was leading me to do this because not only did I have no desire to remain in Hawaii for a second longer, I also did not see much value in staying to work in a coffee shop whose customers were all believers and YWAMers. Thankfully God knows more than what we do!



I joined staff thinking I would be there for at least six months. About a month in I found out that my family was likely moving from Great Falls MT to Madison WI for a job for my step dad. God very clearly spoke to me and told me that I was to move with them. At this point I thought I would finish out that quarter, head back to MT in June, help my mom pack up and then make the drive with her and my three youngest siblings to Wisconsin. I began doing research on Madison WI and discovered that there was a YWAM base there. I sent them an email to inquire about possible staff positions, not really planning on staffing there, but more just seeing what my options might be. The response I received was not at all what I was anticipating! Two days after sending off the email I received a response from the campus ministries director. He let me know that they did have some positions open and he wanted me to call him to discuss some possibilities. So I called. 

On the phone he let me know that they were running a summer DTS and were in desperate need of female staff. At that point they had accepted five girls to the school and one guy and they only had one female staff and three male staff.  He asked if I would pray about staffing the school. He then told me that if I were to staff the school I would need to be in Madison by May 17th which would mean me leaving Kona the first week of May. This was only three short weeks away. I told him that I would pray about it and get back to him as soon as I had an answer. I hung up the phone and immediately began to panic. How on earth was I supposed to make this happen? What would people think of me for picking up and leaving again after having only been on staff in Kona for one month? Why would God tell me staff in Kona just to have me pick up and leave again? In the midst of all my panic and confusion I decided to get on YWAM Madison's website and go ahead and begin filling out the staff application. What did I have to lose, right?

I completed the application and got on facebook hoping that maybe there would be someone online I could talk to about all this (I am an external processor and need to be able to express all of my thoughts to another person in order for me to really know what I'm thinking). My good friend Samuel, who was on outreach in Thailand, happened to be on. We began talking and I told him what was going on. His immediate response was. "Melyssa, you have to go!" He went on to tell me that he had a good friend in Madison who had just recently began experiencing the power of the Holy Spirit and he had been praying that God would send someone to mentor her in these things. He told me that he was sure that I was an answer to that prayer and that he couldn't think of a better person to mentor her in some of these things. He asked me to find her in his friends list and add her. When I went to his page, I looked at the randomly generated short list of his friends on the side of his page and, lo and behold, there she was right at the top. He told me that he was praying for me and that God was going to tell me what to do and that I wouldn't need to second guess my decision.

About an hour later I went in to the cafe to talk to my staff supervisor and let her know what was going on. I needed her to fill out a reference for me for my staff application and I also wanted her to be completely in the loop. As we sat there in the cafe she told me that God desires for us to honor our commitments (which I completely agree with) and I had made a commitment to staff there for the quarter. She asked me to continue to pray about and talk to her again on Monday about the reference. I walked away feeling very discouraged. I had no idea what to do. I strongly felt that God was leading me to go staff the school in Madison. Things had happened in such a way and so quickly without my even trying to make anything happen that I didn't see that it could be anything but the leading of God.  
I walked off campus and went to sit by the ocean. I was frustrated and confused. I poured out my heart to God. I knew that I needed to make this decision and I knew God was in it and for it, but I wanted to do things right. I wanted to go with the blessing of my staff in Kona. I knew they wouldn't say that I couldn't and that Bri would fill out that reference form even if she didn't agree with it, but that was not how I wanted it to be. As I walked back, I told God, "God, I'm pretty sure this is what you are calling me to and I am going to do it but you have to speak to Bri and Ben and you have to reveal to them that this is your will. I can't go unless that happens."

The next night I babysat for a couple on staff who lived on campus. When they got back that night they were asking me about what my plans were and I shared with them what had happened. Josh looked at me and said, "Melyssa, you have to do this. Yes, God wants us to honor our commitments but He also wants us to go where the need is. It sounds like there is a huge need for you there. The cafe will find someone else to fill your position. Don't worry about what anyone else thinks, just go." (Cafe staff is one of the most coveted positions at YWAM Kona. People are constantly trying to get a staff position in the cafe, so they would not have any problem filling my postion!)

Monday I talked to Bri again. We sat down on the couches in the "closed for renovations" part of the cafe. I told her that I knew God was calling me to do this. Her response was, "Okay, that's all I needed to hear." She filled out and submitted the reference and all that was left to do was to wait. A week or so later I got the official word that I had been accepted on staff with YWAM Madison. And so I left.


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