Play List

Thought it would be fun to include my wonderful playlist of beautiful music I was listening to while writing my previous two blogs. Hope you enjoy! :)

Wounds that Heal Part 2

I sank to the floor and I said, "I trust You. I'm scared but I trust you." Thankfully, God is amazingly good and He only shows us what we need to know. He did not, like I feared, show me that abuse. Instead, I heard a voice. I heard it as clearly as though I was remember a conversation from yesterday. It was the voice of an unfamiliar man, but I knew who it was. He said to me, "Your mommy and daddy gave me permission to do this to you. They brought here and told me I could do this because you haven't been a good girl." I heard those sentences I completely lost it. I was sitting on the floor sobbing for almost an hour. Huge, heaving wailing sobs with snot running down my face and my shirt becoming drenched in tears. 

Wounds that Heal Part 1

Memories are interesting things, often taking on their own life, their own personality. They decide when they want to be remembered and forgotten, sometimes they lie, other times they tell the brutal, honest truth. There are memories that bring you joy, memories that bring nostalgia and a tinge of sadness, and memories that bring you nothing but pain.

And there are those that hide.

The One Thing

Tuesday afternoon I was informed by my school leaders that I need to have the remainder of my fees for lecture phase in by Friday. I still need $1700 and was praying about what God wanted me to do. Tuesday night I felt led to fast until Friday evening.

Since then I have been spending a lot of time in the prayer room. I have been soaking myself in the Word and really seeking God's heart for me during this time. Yesterday during my dinner-time prayer, God told me to read Song of Solomon. As I was reading that God gave a wonderful revelation of what His heart is for me in this.

As Vulnerable as Possible

These past weeks have been quite interesting for me. In addition to everything God has been speaking to me through our speakers in class, He's also been speaking a lot to me that doesn't really have much to do with I'm learning in class.

It all started with Peter Xu. In my last post I wrote about the shadow of the cross. In there, I said that I wasn't sure yet what my cross looked like. In the weeks since I wrote that, I've been learning a lot more about what that looks like for me right now.

When I was doing some research on the process and history of crucifixion for my previous post (yes, I did research on it, I wasn't just making stuff up off the top of my head!) I came across something that didn't really stand out to me at the time, but came to my mind the next day. And the day after that. And the day after that.

The Shadow of the Cross in on My Heart

 “Take up your cross daily and follow me.” Eight words spoken over 2,000 years ago that still ring in the hearts and ears of many. What do they mean? 2,000 years ago the people who heard these words would have immediately understood their meaning because they had intimate knowledge of what the cross was. Today it is not so. Today we have a very limited framework for the understanding of the meaning of the cross. We know that Jesus died on a cross. We know that upon it was bought our freedom, but when it comes to an actual understanding of the physical cross itself, our frame of reference comes mainly from art work and jewelry. How do we get back to the original meaning and apply this to our lives?

Further and up and further in

Lately I've been wondering if anyone actually reads this blog and if it's even worth it for me to continue to update it and pour my heart and my thoughts out here. I have decided that my "readership" is not the point. I didn't start this blog to garner fans. I started it to have a place to write and to try and keep people updated on what's going on with my life. I will continue to keep this blog updated regardless of whether or not anyone reads it. That being said, here we go :)

I've been in Kona Hawaii for 3 weeks now. It's so strange that three weeks has gone by already! I am here doing a their Church Pioneering School. The intent of this school is equip and train us to be able to go back to wherever it is that God is calling us and start up new churches. When we say new churches, though, we're not talking about new services and new buildings. We're talking about new gatherings of believers living life together.